Audi Doodi

Jn 21 M6 08:50hrs

The inevitable queue formed way before the start of the viaduct. Patient people in tin boxes listening to Brazil and Parry, watching the bumper in front so as not to be the one to 'let them them in'. I sat and wondered if the viaduct itself is high enough to jump off and deploy a parachute, or if you'd smash into the ground and the chute just jump out of the back pack and cover your bleeding remains. Also, how fast would you need to be traveling to use it's gentle slope as a take off ramp. I reckon somewhere in the region of 786 MPH would probably get you airborn and over the matrix sign.

Then it happened, I failed to notice that the car in front had moved and an Audi sized gap had opened up. She was in with a beautifully executed series of offences. IATACI, IATAICYU & IATACQ. 9 points, well done.

AL51 OLT - you are a TOSSER!

Her Name Is RHE4O And She Dances On The Sand

WTF? I still haven't been able to work this one out. I asked Google if it knew, they said this. Can't possibly mean 'Cheap', that's a £30k BMW and that plate must be worth £40 quid! Then, on closer inspection, we found it. Welcome to the M6 RheaO.

I can't dish anything out for this one because she's clearly new to the country and I'd like to 'protect' her.

E15 AAA - Tosser!

Here, the sporty Porshe Cayenne has been visually enhanced by a superb reshuffle. I have it on good authority that the gentleman driving this motor is called E15AA, pronounced 'Eefifteenah'. Second name probably begins with 'A'. Clearly deserves a IATIGASNP to add to the IATACI, the IATICYU and the IATACQ - A thoroughly deserved 12 points earned in one single manoeuvre down the outside of a line of traffic. What's the odds that the Sat Nav system said-

'Stuff your big hulking gas guzzler down the outside of that line of traffic, cut in at the front without indicating, kill a prole and turn left at the Slug and Ferret'

Tosser!

Tosser Tom - T17 OMK

T 1 7 OMK was a character in Star Wars episode 3 which was actually episode 6. This example of the offence IATAIGASN (3 points) employs the felt tipped fixing screw cunningly deployed as a full stop. Using the 7 as a sneaky T, this tosser has made his number plate read TIT OMK which is in the Kamasutra. A TIT is what you get on the front of ladies and an OMK is when you touch one (or both) of them without the lady in question knowing.

Welcome aboard.

TOSSER! MM05 GSU

Every day someone tries to kill me. If they can't get me they'll get anyone. So, I've mounted a camera to my dash. Using an elaborate system of prisms and pulleys, I intend to shame the tossers. Don't worry, it's remotely operated and totally safe. So I wont be smashing into you when you try and kill me.

Offences -

1. IATACI (3 points)
2. IATAPMN (3 points)
3. IATAICYU (3 points)